Good Evening!  I am posting another song that I've been working on for a while.  It is another remix, but the next chunk of music that I will post will be me singing and playing.  This remix has a couple surprises that I had fun with.  A big portion of these assignments was to create the synthesizer sounds myself, something I had an absolute blast doing using Surge and Vital.  

Also!  I got a couple plugins recently over Black Friday, one of those being the Brainworx Masterdesk which is making mastering a breeze for the time being and what I need to master.  When I get to the full album portion of the degree, I plan to be much more thorough and personal with the mastering process, but right now I just want to share what I have been working on at a better quality than before.  I am still remixing the assignments from first semester (now that I know what I am DOING!) when I have time, so hopefully I'll be able to share those shortly.

Every time I sit to write about everything I did, I forget what I wanted to say until a week after I post!  With “Tear in My Heart”, I knew I wanted to do something with 21 Pilots.  I goofed around with changing the pitches of the original melody, and alternated between funk and synth bass lines.  I added some Kesha, and my absolute favorite part was taking out the original bridge (which is the best part of the original song, but I didn't want to switch meters and lose the flow) and adding some sweet rapping from Quad City DJ's.  I like how creamy the synths sound during the second chorus.  The ending was pretty loose.  I always liked how the original song ended on a really nice low D Major, and I wanted it to taper off a bit in the same way.  I liked the pluckiness of the synth at the end too.  Anyhow, I hope you enjoy!  TENSE and Brick by Boring Brick have been re-mastered and re-posted!  As always, I am curious to hear feedback of any kind.  Thank you for taking the time to read and I'll have more coming soon!

-Colin

I had a bit of a breakthrough.  For this semester we need to write a paper and I have been working on trying to figure out which music producer to write about.  I thought Rick Rubin for a while, but I feel like everyone loves Rubin and I checked out a couple other ones that would be really interesting.  I considered Butch Walker for a while since he's an amazing performer, his discography is good and I pinpointed a signature sound of his.  He seem like an interesting person as well.  I also checked out Max Martin, and also Howard Benson who produced some albums that really influenced me in one way or another like P.O.D.'s “Satellite” album, two incredible Blindside albums, most of Flyleaf's albums, Trust Company, Hoobastank, Starset.  It's cool to know a good portion of his work so well.  

It all got blown to pieces when I watched an excerpt from an interview where Rick Rubin spent time talking creativity and I knew right away that I would be changing my paper.  I am genuinely excited, as he always seemed like someone I should learn about.  I cannot wait to see what I come across!  

I struggle with the creative process still, but after spending a month getting back on doing Julia Cameron's morning page journaling, I have come to realize how much I have been missing.  

There was a time in my life when I first started doing the Artist's Way when I felt more confident in myself and my abilities than ever before.  It affected my life so positively in many different ways from problem-solving to better work efficiency to facing my fears and taking positive risks.  I have banged my head against the wall to try and figure out what I had learned back then that made me feel so complete (for lack of a better word).  I believe, after all this time and searching and rereading journals, that the most important thing that I was doing was simply just journaling.  Things have been falling back into place ever since I restarted.  I have often though that it not only clears my mind, but also serves as a way to remind myself of who I am.  And be reaffirmed with everything I've been doing and hoping to do.  

So, Rick Rubin and his work seems to align with the mindset that I am hoping to further wrap my head around.  

I had to do a couple remixes for one of my classes last semester and it was unusually fun!  I am posting the first one I did.  I liked the vocals for “Brick by Boring Brick”, and the rest just came together from influences like NIN, Swimming With Dolphins, Evanescence, and The Midnight among some others.  I hope you find it interesting and I'll be posting more music soon!  I'll leave you with Butch Walker being awesome with the Marvelous 3.

-Colin

I believe that God speaks to different channels at times, often times for me through music.  Earlier this year I went way overboard about a problem that ended up being alright. The next day, Devin Townsend released a song called “Call of the Void” with the lyrics “Cause when you feel the world's insane reaction To follow your heart, the worst reaction is to Freak out So don't you Freak out”, which felt like a reaffirmation of how I should have handled things.  

I am about to begin an awesome Master’s program in Songwriting and Music Production.  It seems perfect for me and what I’ve always wanted to do, but I’m nervous.  It will be fun and interesting, and I’ll be able to use a lot of it as a teacher, but career-wise what kind of a move am I making?  It’s not a doctorate or administrator license, so what is the next step?  If we’re heading into a recession, maybe I should learn welding or carpentry instead.

Then I stumbled once again upon Moodring, like pretty hard.  I remember thinking they were ok when I first heard of them, but this time I was really into it.  The song “Disintegrate” has a really awesome ambient part at the end that spends time building on the line “Someday you’ll wish you had.” 

I am sure other opportunities will come along from this new training, or something else may take place because of it.  I have no idea, but I’m sure I’ll always wonder if I don’t do it.  I have also started to hear “Someday you’ll wish you had” in other areas of my life, mainly hanging out with my kids after an exhausting day when all I want to do is veg out.  Or reaching out to a friend, or trying to get more sleep.

I still find myself second-guessing and worrying about what the best choice is.  But time waits for no one.  As with so many other things in life that happen we have made space and adapted to whatever situation takes place.  Plus, what advice would I give to one of my kids in a similar situation?  What am I modeling for them? I would hope “carpe diem.”  So, that’s what I need to do.  I’m diving in.  I’ve paid the deposit and we’re off on this crazy ride!

On Wednesday morning, I was up with the kids getting ready for work and getting them breakfast.  Everything was typical of a weekday morning but when I went to put granola on my daughter’s oatmeal I noticed my hand was not working right.  I couldn’t break up the clumps, it felt really weak.  I tried again and this time not only could I not break up the pieces, I couldn’t even move my fingers enough to get the granola out of my hand, much less in her bowl.   

My son began to state that he needed more granola, and as I tried to tell him to hold on I realized the words would just stop in my mouth.  I couldn’t speak properly, it was like my tongue had turned into a balloon.  I ran into the bathroom to check my face and I was still able to smile normally, so I wasn’t sure what was going on.  I had a huge drink of water and tried to say some more words, but I still couldn’t speak properly at all.  I finally realized something was terribly wrong. 

I told my wife what was going on and she jumped into awesome mode as she ran across the street and got our neighbor friend to watch the kids.  We got to the hospital and were taken care of promptly.  I had an MRI and a CT scan and it was determined that I had experienced a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) or a ministroke.  There were also traces of smaller strokes that I had possibly had in the past.  There is a chance those were remnants of awful migraines that I may have suffered, it is difficult to say.  A TIA delivers the same symptoms of a stroke and is a major warning sign that a stroke is a high possibility, without causing the same amount of permanent damage.   

My tongue tingled for a while in the hospital, and my right arm felt like jello for most of the morning but my major symptoms improved pretty quickly.  I was incredibly impressed with the nurses and doctors we worked with throughout my time, seriously most everyone was pretty unbelievable.  I spent the rest of my stay in neurology and everything seemed up in the air.  It still kind of is to be honest.  I had an ultrasound of my heart (which was crazy to watch!) and a longer MRI with contrast that evening, and we spent the night.   

The next day was better.  My symptoms were almost at baseline and we were able to go home around 3 PM.  I really missed the kids and it was unbelievable to be back.  I had a heart-rate monitor on to keep an eye on my heart, and some preventative medications to get through the next month, but ultimately no solid answers as to what happened. 

There are a couple speculations, but I think the doctor’s first guess is that I have a hole in my heart which would have allowed the blood clot to reach my brain.  We are hoping to find that sort of info through the monitoring and possibly a procedure.  We shall see.  The bottom line is that I am incredibly, unbelievably blessed to say the least.  Since I got out of the hospital I realized how close I came to a completely different life within seconds.  I am still able to play music, play with my kids, and continue on with no physical restrictions for the most part.  Had anything happened differently I might not have been able to do those things again, or for quite some time.  All in a matter of minutes everything could have changed for me and my existence, and completely out of nowhere.  I am thankful for the doctors and nurses, for my wife and her strength and support, and the neighbors and in-laws who were all able to jump in at a moment’s notice and help us get treatment.  We only told a handful of people in the heat of things, and I am thankful for their prayers and support.  I am hoping to find some more answers soon, but I am blessed to have dodged a massive bullet seemingly yet again.  I was two days away from celebrating two years without needing treatment for cancer when the TIA happened.  Now I am able to celebrate getting through this so far as well.  Mostly just the facts, but I’ll post again when I have more answers!

I am working through the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron trying to unlock some captive creativity and I am really enjoying the process. I am on week four and something incredible happened that I've had in the back of my mind for a while as a possibility. The assignment for the week was to not read for leisure or watch TV for the week (no talk radio or audiobooks, youtube, or facebook either). I laughed when I read it and right away I was really intrigued. I knew it was going to be an interesting week but I didn't know if I would like it or if I could even do it. I listen to audiobooks all the time, and pandora comedy is my go-for working around the house. 

Well, I did it, and it was a remarkable week! Here's what I gathered: 

- I look at my phone waaaaay too much, and I often feel just drained and empty at the end of the day. I have felt the two have been related, and after this week I am certain. 

- On day one I wasn't missing it at all. I felt way more into what I was up to that day, I found myself daydreaming hard again and I was able to tackle some smaller tasks around the house when I probably would have been standing and staring at my phone. The music I listened to that day seemed to sound better, and everything seemed to have a bit more color. I know it might sound a bit silly and over-poetic, but that's exactly what it felt like. 

- On the second day I found myself becoming more aware of my surroundings and the people nearby. Everything seemed more intense too. It was getting better and better. 

- by the 3rd day I found myself really heading off some problems and working to get more organized (and not dreading the tasks!). It is so easy for me to push out my problems with a distraction but without it I just handled things. It felt like a new section of my brain had opened up, it was awesome! Super refreshing. 

- The fourth day was great. I realized how much I was seeking out people to talk to again and being able to think faster and be more engaged in the conversations. I was genuinely invested in what was going on and I was just happier overall. I felt like I was thinking on my feet better while I was teaching as well. When I drove home I put in one of my favorite albums and came up with a neat connected story line to the music the entire drive home. I went made a point to go fatbiking with a friend that evening and I went to bed just feeling awesome. 

- Friday was great! I made a phone call on the ride home (something I don't do often) and when I talked to people I didn't feel like I had to run off somewhere and I had to keep it short. I felt comfortable in my own skin again. Looking back at my notes, each day I noted how great things were going and each day I said something about how this needed to happen long-term (maybe mainly with facebook and limited mind-hijacking during the week). I felt awesome. 

-Yesterday I had to work a looooooong day running sound for a dance competition, and I wasn't bored at all. The day went pretty quickly and I just found things to do to occupy the time, and it was great! There was no staring at the clock, no dragging feeling at all, it was just fine. 

-Finally, today was the best of all. I woke up feeling hopeful and energetic (this used to happen during the summers in high school where everything was where it needed to be and I just had everything to look forward to all the time.) It is an exciting feeling, but it doesn't happen very often these days. 

I allowed myself some news reading and youtube and facebook vegging today and now I just feel dense again. 

Conclusion? I'm definitely doing this for another week! I think there is so much gravity to not even having your phone in the same room when you are hanging out with people or sleeping. The Artist's Way always talks about your creative spirit as a child, and I think this week definitely made me feel younger when I was more social and the entire world was a different light. It's starting to make more sense and I'm really excited to see where the next 8 weeks of the book take me. 

Finally, I remember there was a time of my life where I became a different person. I became quite unhappy for a while, things just changed, and for a long time I was a cynical person who had difficulty identifying and working through some character faults. I can pin the start of the change to not long after I joined Facebook. Beforehand life was without a doubt different. Is Facebook the devil? I don't think so, but I always had the inkling that my life would be better if I stayed away from it. That has now been proven to be 100% true.